Formative fanfiction

[petra]

strawdogs
there’s just some fics... they never leave u bro. i’ll be sitting on the toilet four years later thinking about the 94k enemies to lovers fic that captured my soul

reblog and put in the tags the fics that captured ur soul

My answer on Tumblr.


A clarification of range by Te was identity porn before the phrase existed in the best way. (DCU, Explicit)

Chicago's Most Wanted by Speranza makes me smile forever. (due South, Explicit)

dira's Every Marine a Wolfbrother series made me start a story fest. (Generation Kill + Bear & Monette's Iskyrne, Explicit)

torch broke me into a thousand pieces time and time again. (First Vampire Chronicles, now lost because Anne Rice SUCKED, then ST:VOY.)

The Angels You Need by Mary and Te owns parts of me forever. Half of it is no longer on the internet. I may or may not have html copies. (DCU, Explicit)

The Sacred and the Profane by afrai had me on the edge of my seat for Ages. (Good Omens, Teen)

In Your Darkest Dreams by Emma Woodhouse with the sex pollen tea was my introduction to id fic. (Star Wars, Explicit)

The entirety of the Sith Academy warped my sense of humor in distinct ways, but Jane St. Clair's entry with the rimming rewrote parts of my sexuality. But that one appears not to be on the internet anymore. (Star Wars, ratings vary Teen-Explicit)

The epic ancient no longer on the net one where Picard and Q were in a BDSM relationship taught me things about myself. Possibly titled His Master's Pet, co-written by Ruth Gifford. His Beloved Pet is what I meant. Thanks, ellen_fremedon!(Explicit)

X-Mansion by Dr Benway still upsets me and it has been decades since I first read it. (X-Men, graphic violence, Explicit)


What stories rewired your brain?

Comments

[musesfool]

X-Mansion was the first thing I thought of when I saw the question!

I'm bad with titles so I will have to ponder a little more and scan through my various recs over the years to come up with others.

[petra]

It is haunting as hell.

I look forward to your answers!

[minoanmiss]

Ahaha half your list is my list. Three others I need to find links for:

Mary Borselkino’s Pretty Good Year. What if Frodo stayed and we had a threesome?

Stranger’s stories about hobbits and ways in which their society might be arranged. And also sex. Inspired my writing and worldbuilding in the best ways

Dira’s The World That You Need series demonstrates how sometimes the fanauthor can do better than the pro author. Not often but if anyone can do it it’s Dira. (Votkosiverse. Aral/OMC. Aral/Cordelia)

[petra]

Arkady is so much better Jole than babies, agreed.

[naath]

oh yes the world that you need is so good, is he 'original' hmmm, ?

I am offer the accidental warlord and his pack (long series), by inexplirifics (which I may have typoed), the witcher (all media types) Explicit in parts

[minoanmiss]

Point. I was on my phone and not up to explaining.

To be more specific, Lt. Arkady Jole is a character created by the fanwriter from one line of canon and a last name. So he was there in canon, but only very barely at the time.

[naath]

got the wrong first name... that is how you know it was written first :)

[minoanmiss]

No, I'm talking about DIra's version (and yes he was mostly written first, based on the aftermath to Cryoburn). I forget Oliver Jole's rank -- was it also Lieutenant? That version of Jole is in Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen. I feel like I'm assembling one of those Walls of Photos and String here.

[naath]

no need, I have read both.

I think he ends up an admiral before ho retires, probably lt, which I can't spell when secretary

[stranger]

It's worth saying that other fans (that aren't me) saw the one line in Vor Game and were absolutely convinced that Jole and Aral were a thing, even before they saw Dira's fic. It really fits into the canon and the characters as already given.

As for the hobbits, it just seemed like what they'd do...

[minoanmiss]

Oh it was gloriously obvious. And then Dira took it and made it something that fits better with canon than later canon.

And I will always treasure your stories. :D

[petra]

Agreed.

[petra]

Geralt as a werewolf? I'd read that.

[naath]

sorry it isn't that, though I too would read

[out_there]

Off the top of my head, Handful of Dust by Seperis - SV. It pitted my deep desire for a happy ending against my deep belief in personal freedom and that haunted me so much I couldn't sleep the night I read it. That was maybe 20 years ago, but when I think of stories that stayed with me,I remember how that one horrified me even as the characters were content with their choices.

And in SGA, Synecdochik's Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - future McKay fic, all about grieving and loss and how you move to the next thing. And while its only 20k I will always remember the ethics class, the hideous task of making young people realise that they're capable of terrible decisions and some day might hqve to live with them.

And for a third, let's say Rageprufrock's Asunder. SPN AU, destiel. As much as I love the romance and pru's writing style, there's so much brotherly love here, coming to terms with the pain and betrayal of an ex-addict and finding a way to trust again. That stayed with me.

[sophia_sol]

oh man, Freedom's Just Another Word is like, the ur fic-that-rewired-my-brain!

[out_there]

It really is an amazing story. And it packs such a punch for only 20K of words.

(Also, there's a short sequel. I was thrilled to discover that.)

[hoarmurath]

Freedom does live in my head rentfree ever since I read it. It's amazing.

[bonibaru]

Co-sign to all 3

[tei]

the naming of things by aria (Doctor Who, Doctor/Master), which was one of the first pieces of fanfiction I read and became to me the platonic ideal of an "evil origin story" where harm grows organically out of friendship.

Pet by The Sigyn (BtVS, Buffy/Spike), which as well as sexual content that probably had, uh, an impact, is an absolute masterpiece of structure and pacing in a way that dug deep into my brain how important those things are to the impact of the material.

The Operative Word by road_rhythm (Supernatural, Sam/Dean), which hit me in the face with the fact that... you can do that... you really can do anything you want when you're writing... oh my god.

[nyctanthes]

Oh wow, thank you so much for rec-ing The Operative Word. Fantastic. Blew all the cobwebs from my brain.

[tei]

You're very welcome! It will do that!!!

[primeideal]

Animorphs: The Beginning: the Conclusion Fix-it that was one of the first fics I discovered/loved on FFN.

The F**cking Movie Never Motherf**cking Ends Fix-it for mayoremanuel. What got me into Ao3 and Yuletide.

Sixteen Ways to Tell the Weasley Twins Apart HP, originally written in 2005, great characterization :(

[luckyzukky]

i answered this in a reblog of the original tumblr post but since it's here i might as well comment my answers haha. i could think of more but these are the first that come to mind so i guess they're the most significant for me.

the morning has me looking in your eyes by shieldings is such a masterful rewrite of the teen titans judas contract arc, and flawlessly writes of abuse (and its impact) and teenage relationships, and all that superheroing added to that entails. the prose is stunningly clever and i always find myself rereading parts of the series so often. all time favorite for me.

most of catastrohpechao's works qualify for this but i'm specifically naming lists, nature, and (...and i feel fine) because those three especially permanently altered my brain chemistry tbh

[alexseanchai]

the Dangerverse by whydoyouneedtoknow (Harry Potter, many trigger warnings but it's genuinely more fluff and humor than angst-with-a-happy-ending)

Revival and Identity by MyAibou (Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, canon-typical Everything)

and I'm with out_there on "Freedom's Just Another Word"

[gloss]

love is a warm tentacle, Te. DCAU. I mean, it gave me a botantical-tentacle kink.

grown to outlive their season, signalbeam. It's a Homestuck AU that stands head and shoulders above a lot of original sf/f.

Consent to be Wrecked, Cicak. (SWST) The deepest and freakiest in the sadly tiny genre of "let's wallow in how Poe would die for Leia".

sandyk's work has rewired me since 2003, whatever fandom she's in. Her Worth It series is what I wish the MCU was.

eta I knew I was blanking on something. fitter happier more productive by zarahemla is the Five Things fic that showed me the form's power. It also was posted *right* after the amazing s4 finale of Angel, demonstrating to me how important responsiveness and community are to the creativity of fanfic.

[cathyw]

the Down to Agincourt series by Seperis. SPN End!verse, so canon-adjacent, I guess? Not finished. 500k words before Dean and Cas kiss. Still life-altering.

This, You Protect by Owlet. MCU. The Winter Soldier has changed his mission - instead of killing Captain America, he needs to protect Steve Rogers.

[mekare]

Oh seconding Owlet‘s fic! I will need to think a while before I can gather all my links to answer this post.

[hannah]

Not the story so much as the author notes on one of its chapters, where someone said that while fandom had a common convention for a nameless character's given name, they weren't doing that for their own story, and that made me sit back and wonder, "Am I following this commonly accepted fandom convention because it's a good idea, or because it's what everyone else is doing? I'd better pay attention to that in the future, to better make sure I know what I'm doing and why."

As the fandom was several presidential administrations ago and I can't even remember if I read it on a website or mailing list, don't ask me for additional details. But that specific note and the lesson it gave me has stuck around.

[gloss]

I love this anecdote.

[demigodscum]

I second Gloss' comment. Very cool story, and very important lesson.

[ellen_fremedon]

"His Beloved Pet" is still online! http://www.alara.net/trek/qtng.html

[petra]

I love having the perfect icon for my current emotions. OMG YAY! Thank you!

[seerofrage]

The Serendipity Gospels by urbanAnchorite, Homestuck; my favorite fic of all time. <3

Eurydice by Klitch, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle; the imagery of the fog and the lanterns has stuck with me since I read it. <3

Sunk Cost Fallacy by Kitsubasa, Kingdom Hearts; this was written a little more recently but I think about it often, still. <3

[shadaras]

Known Associates, by thingswithwings (MCU - Captain America)
Steve Rogers isn't a self-made man.
Or, how a tough little Brooklyn fairy got turned into Captain America, and then turned back.

aka that novel-length fic about Steve Rogers' queerness with a whole final chapter of citations/reference links about historical queerness in and around WWII.

and

How the mouth changes its shape by breathedout (BBC Sherlock, Explicit)
1955. Under the placid veneer of suburban playparks and middle-class conformity churns a hidden London: femmes and butches dancing close in basement bars; clandestine love between women. To Sherlock Holmes, struggling private detective and mistress of disguise, it’s a realm she renounced years before. To Johnnie Watson, daredevil ambulance driver turned auto mechanic, it’s become a little too familiar. But when someone is murdered in the washroom of the city’s most notorious lesbian club, the investigation will lead both women to reconsider their assumptions about themselves, each other, and the world in which they live.

1950s f/f Johnlock; a beautifully realised world that gave me a lot of feelings about butch/femme culture and historical worldbuilding.

[minoanmiss]

I wish _Known Associates_ could be taught in queer lit courses.

[shadaras]

Oh, yes, it'd be wonderful for that!

[writerkit]

Pawn to Queen, although not in the ways most people think-- I was actually quite caught up by the "take control of your life" element of it and spent a while chasing that.

Caeria's "Pet Project" also caught me in the lessons. Hermione getting lessons in critical thinking is a huge component of it and I wanted to take those lessons, and consequently spent a lot more time reading nonfiction and then trying to analyze it. Honestly, this is *still* a long-term project now.

I'm not sure whether an SCP story counts as "fanfiction" per se, but "Portraits of Your Father" from their storybase also haunts me in the night.

[i_wish_to_remain_nameless]

Generally the fics that affect me the most are the ones that I write if only because I spend so much time thinking about them and often make up stories as a way to work through difficult emotions and stuff. However on the topic of fics I've read I guess I can offer a couple from my mental top of all time list. These fics left a lasting impression on me and I've reread both of them many times.
Tomorrow isn't always another day by suitablyskippy peaked my interest in Mob Psycho 100 which is the first fandom I wrote fanfiction for and probably also positively affected my life in other ways that I won't get into here. Suitablyskippy's writing is a delight to read and conveys the feeling joy unlike anything else I've ever read. I also have a real soft spot for her Tsuritama stuff.

See You in the Dark by JGSZX also known as simkjrs is so good that I sometimes wake up crying in the night at the fact that it's probably never going update again. The author demonstrates excellent understanding of Saiki's problems and issues and is very good at backing him into situations he can't just psychic his way out of without causing more trouble for himself down the road. This fic is really more of a Saiki K fic that just happens to take place in the Parahumans setting but singlehanded convinced me to read the entirety of Worm based on the taste it gave me of the characters and setting. I know for a fact that it also had this effect on at least two other people which I think is very funny given that Simkjrs is upfront about only having read the first few arcs and gotten the rest of their Worm knowledge from fanfiction or the wiki. I don't know if I can recommend the experience of reading Worm though I certainly enjoyed it but I can recommend the experience of reading See You in the Dark or one of Simkjrs other fics. They excel at crafting interesting internal and interpersonal conflicts and taking their plots in directions beyond the obvious. Which I personally think makes up for how terrible they are at finishing things though I hope they get better at that too someday.

[lilysea]

The Sacred and the Profane by afrai had me on the edge of my seat for Ages. (Good Omens, Teen)

Oh, wow, that is a hell of a story, and I hadn't seen it before.

Thank you for sharing it with us <3

[mistressofmuses]

I know I had a few that are sadly lost to me at this point. Some were among the first kinky porn that teen-me had ever come across. It was for Weiß Kreuz, but all on the author's own site, so no idea if it was ever hosted elsewhere.
There was some similarly formative Gundam Wing fic that was the first OT3 I'd ever come across. Considering my shipping tastes now, that was probably EXTREMELY formative, lol.

[sophia_sol]

Honestly I think at this point the thing that rewired my brain the most is like, the sheer quantity of fic I've read over the years. I sometimes even forget all the fandoms I've been in, much less the fics that meant the most to me! I have been reading fic intensively for...counts back.... nearly 2 decades now, wtf

But SGA fandom was a particularly influential one for me, and a number of years ago I did do a whole post about the SGA fics that have particularly stuck with me.

[doranwen]

Same as far as the sheer quantity goes! I don't think I could name specific ones offhand, though if I took a deep dive into the ones stored on my hdd that I've re-read many times over the years, maybe I could name some. It's really just all the stuff I've read by so many amazing authors and fandoms. Fics that stuck in my brain for ages (and there were plenty of those), I can't say exactly what they changed in my writing, and no single fic made any big drastic changes (so the formative part is unclear to me), but I'm sure lots of them nudged me here or there.

Oh, does it count if I occasionally quote from a particular fic? There's a line or two from some LOTR fics that stuck in my head and pop back up in real life here and there. They were soooooo well-written, it takes my breath away almost.

[anotherslashfan]

Freeport by Maldoror Chant, hands down. I've re-read this so many times, and there's a great podfic of it too: Freeport [PODFIC] by the very prolific Opalsong.

ETA: It's a Gundam Wing story.

[ilyena_sylph]

Oh man, yeah.

Freeport just... wow. brain go boom.

[demigodscum]

Sport us while we may by Te (DCU, E) forced me to confront corners of my brain I had resolutely been ignoring for years. I think this story is just a part of me now.

Beside You In Time by Kiyaar (Marvel 616, E) taught me the narrative value of miserable sex scenes whose purpose isn't to turn you on. Also, time travel at its finest.

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom (BBC Sherlock, E) sent me down a rabbit hole of "How can the narration *embody* the story and the characters as much as the narrative?" that I haven't climbed back out of.

History turner by *you* (Petra) (Star Wars, E) has what, in our conversations (as you know — this is for other people's benefit), I deem The Leia Paragraph, which left a permanent mark on how I see Leia, Vaderkin, and the clones. I've thought about that paragraph at completely random times probably at least once a month since I first read it some three years ago.

The Fallout by everythursday (HP, E), which isn't online anymore, marked me as a teenager. It's still one of the best uses of slow burn for character development I've read (300k+ words).

I could list at least another five, *easy*, but I'll just leave it there for now.

PS: *someday* I'm going to read X-Mansion, and when I do, you better be around to listen to me suffer <3

[out_there]

I'm coming back to add I've got Nothing to do today but smile by gyzym. It's an inception AU, eames/arthur, and man does it capture that angry despair of working yourself to the bone for a job that makes you miserable.

We'd all prefer to be reading on a beach somewhere than showing up for work, but if the thought of showing up to your job makes you feel like arthur, it's a sign to find something else.